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Saturday, August 9, 2014

The Dawn of the Foobs

"Of course they're fake, the real ones tried to kill me!" 
-Author unknown, although sometimes attributed to Erma Bombeck

In 20 days, on August 29, I will receive my new boobs (actually Fake Boobs, or FOOBS).

My skin has been making way for their new silicone occupants since their first "fill" on my surgery date of June 4, and every week after until this past Thursday, during which I completed the LAST of my fills after accelerating the process to have my "exchange" surgery quicker (and get this over with!!!). There have been some weeks which were extremely uncomfortable (muscle soreness), but all in all it's been a nuisance more than anything else. How unpleasant it's been to have large, hard, foreign objects at the front of my body (the process requires that the expanders are filled to the size they will actually be, then to go 50% beyond that...so...bigger breasts than I am used to).

While I'm glad I am cancer free, I do sometimes wistfully miss the old girls, especially:
  • Crossing my arms
  • Wearing lower cut clothing (doesn't work with my camisole tops)
  • Hugging without being self-conscious (they sure are hard!)
  • Comfortably sleeping on my sides
  • Shaving my armpits
Too much information? Well if you haven't gotten it by now, you should get the sense that there is nothing pleasant or sexual about my current foobs-expander exercise. I am told I will be so happy when I have my implants as they will be softer and more comfortable. Hence, the speeding up of the process to finish up this process quickly.

So, 20 more days...!

1 comment:

Pamela said...

You are too funny. I enjoy your blog. So glad you are progressing smoothly (relatively!)... And Buffalo? Phooey. Syracuse is MUCH better!