It's Okay if They're Not Happy All the Time
I think one of the hardest things about being a parent is the realization that it's okay if your kids are not happy all the time. From their first cry from hunger or discomfort, all the way up to hurt feelings by a friend who's acting "mean," we rush to try stop the hurt feelings and make it all better. The hardest lesson of all is: it's okay for them to feel a little "pain" once in a while - they need it to grow and develop the sensitivities they will need to be a kind and understanding adult.
This week, in particular, has been a challenging one for me with knowing when to "back off" when the kids were experiencing particularly difficult situations with their friends. It appears that, after a year, Cam's relationship with Bonnie is winding down, or so it seems - I don't know for sure since he won't talk to me (or anyone) about it, but there's noticeably less interaction between them. This situation has made me particularly sad, and has really challenged my ability to not interfere with too much advice and let him/them work though it themselves. I've really enjoyed spending time with Bonnie and getting to know her family, and while I know this relationship would eventually end because they're both so young, it's still hard for all of us. Luckily, they're two really reasonable kids and I hope they'll stay friends.
On the heels of that uncertainty, comes the fact that one of Annalisse's best friends has been spending a lot of time with one or two other friends, and ignoring her pleas to spend time/do things together. It all came to a head on Saturday with some whispering between this girl and a couple of other girls at crew, and the many tears that followed. Oh, how hard it is to let her experience that with nothing more than some encouraging words about how she should call a couple of other friends and make plans with them. I'm sure you've heard it before: GIRLS CAN BE REALLY MEAN.
So, letting them resolve their problems without interfering or jumping in to try to make it all better - the parenting challenge of the week (month, year...).
This week, in particular, has been a challenging one for me with knowing when to "back off" when the kids were experiencing particularly difficult situations with their friends. It appears that, after a year, Cam's relationship with Bonnie is winding down, or so it seems - I don't know for sure since he won't talk to me (or anyone) about it, but there's noticeably less interaction between them. This situation has made me particularly sad, and has really challenged my ability to not interfere with too much advice and let him/them work though it themselves. I've really enjoyed spending time with Bonnie and getting to know her family, and while I know this relationship would eventually end because they're both so young, it's still hard for all of us. Luckily, they're two really reasonable kids and I hope they'll stay friends.
On the heels of that uncertainty, comes the fact that one of Annalisse's best friends has been spending a lot of time with one or two other friends, and ignoring her pleas to spend time/do things together. It all came to a head on Saturday with some whispering between this girl and a couple of other girls at crew, and the many tears that followed. Oh, how hard it is to let her experience that with nothing more than some encouraging words about how she should call a couple of other friends and make plans with them. I'm sure you've heard it before: GIRLS CAN BE REALLY MEAN.
So, letting them resolve their problems without interfering or jumping in to try to make it all better - the parenting challenge of the week (month, year...).
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