Christmas - A time for...letting go?

Something has happened to me in the last couple of years. I've really started evaluating how I spend my time and the "things I do" to determine what's worth continuing and what has run its course. I've always been one of those people who sees a need or an interest in starting something up (like my bookclub or the New York State Chapter of my professional organization), and "just does it." But, lately I've been forcing myself to do some tough self-evaluation to determine my motivations for taking things on. Does it come from a desire to belong? Do I think if I don't do it, nobody will?

Such self-examination comes with maturity and feeling more comfortable in one's skin, but I've been thinking a lot lately about my relationships and things I've been involved in. This year in particular, has been one of those where I've said "I'm all done with that," and have practiced letting go of some long practiced (and loved) activies and traditions.

Because the holidays have so many milestones and events associated with them, this year has caused a noticeable drop-off of a couple of things I've always initiated over the years. One example is that I stopped coordinating Mark's extended families gift exchange ("drawing of names") for the Christmas Eve party at his Aunt and Uncle's house. I've initiated this activity for about five years now, and this year when it became apparent that there were a couple of schools of thoughts about ways we might do it differently (i.e. just draw for the kids, donate to a charity), I didn't feel it was my place to make a recommendation to the family. So, I decided it was time to pass it onto to another family member. In effect, "I'm all done with that." (A relief.)

The next example is an event that I thought would cause protests among my kids if I suggested ending the tradition, but no one even noticed: St. Nicolas Day. Every year since Cameron was born we've gotten together with Mark's cousin's family (who have children the same age) to celebrate St. Nicholas Day (you can read about last year's St. Nicholas celebration in the Baker blog here). Again, sensing that I was the only one who really cared about this tradition I decided not to remind the kids about it, and did not contact our cousin a month ago to pick a date and time. Guess what? The day has passed and no one noticed that we did not celebrate. I guess I'm all done with that, too.

I'm learning that's the way of life, and that everything evolves, including relationships and traditions. It's neither bad nor good, it just "is." Be assured, that for every activity or tradition that I've discontinued over the last couple of years, there is always one (or two, or three) to take its place.

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